To celebrate turning 8, Twitter on Thursday opened its archive, making it easy to look up anyone's first tweets. A selection of funny, weird, silly, and witty tweets. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Blind date. I wish I could say I felt guilty about it... — Rand Fishkin (@randfish) August 11, 2007 I feel like most of these people were dating waaay too soon after a previous breakup. Your account is not active. That's a new take on whispering sweet nothings. Coronavirus. Let us know in the comments. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. See any we missed? -- Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) February 24, 2010, from now on I need to be referred to as ? Suuuuuuure "its not an STD... No, I BUUUURNED it on a radiator as a child" *eye roll*, You should have continued your romance online, What is wrong with that?? 3 of 58. Well, it's better for us, at least. Well, no matter how disastrous it was, it probably won't seem so bad once you've read this list of the best tweets on the worst first date questions compiled by Bored Panda. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. 2. Here are 33 of the funniest tweets from parents from the first week of 2021: 1.) Yeesh, Ape-lad. She still does this! -- Bonnie McFarlane (@bonniemcfarlane) September 14, 2011. It was quite a struggle overcoming my phobia of the @ symbol. That's what we thought. You can read more about it and change your preferences, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. Some awkward and funny first tweets. The only unfortunate thing is the limit of characters. Hey Pandas, How Did You Get Over Depression? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. He talked about how he was going to kill her. There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny. Be respectful, keep it civil and stay on topic. And every week we narrow it down to our 25 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds.. Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some very funny tweets from long ago.. What is the worst in this story, the frogs or the wife!? They Tweet, you reply. I hope the 17 fans on my Geocities page follow me here. However, most of the greatest ideas were born from real life situations. 11 Tell someone thank you. READING FUNNIEST TWEETS! Flannel PJs and a heavy down comforter kept my teeth from chattering too loudly. Tom DeLay, you sir, are no Patrick Swayze. Pandas, What’s A Bad Habit You Are Trying To Break? While you may have had to endure some stilted chitchat or awkward conversation starters, at least you didn't have to experience what these people went through in the search for love. We delete comments that violate our policy, which we encourage you to read. I understand him, he was late right, so he was trying to reward her with fast food and fast sex. Yeah, we confess; we fell down the first-tweets rabbit hole fast. I think that nowadays no one uses letters to comunicate...she was what, checking you bank account? But hey, it's not so bad when you have a good sense of humor. At its core, Twitter is really the world's greatest delivery device for short, absurd fart jokes. Good to finally be on twitter. Twitter is the open mic at The Improv of the Internet, so unless you're a funny person who wants to be heckled, you might want to make your first tweet chuckle-worthy. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. And here is a look at the first tweets from Re/code’s staff. Writing emails. Yes, you might have had some first date tips turned sour, but nothing as atrocious as some of these first date conversations. Twitter. home random collections Follow @fun_tweets for daily funny updates. 1 of 58. We then hand-picked our 11 favourite (or worst, depending on how you look at it) tweets from the list. Here are some examples: 1. 12 Or happy birthday. wait... sheep can be really interresting.. no? Your reign of banal comments and villainous musings ends tonight! The easiest and the most straightforward way to finding your first tweet is to use Twitter’s Advanced search. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Just threw up in my mouth a little. New top tweets added daily. And still it became you boyfriend...whos the ass? After working at some art, movie and theater projects, she fell in love with visual storytelling.Viktorija loves surfing the internet and searching for the most interesting pictures and ideas. Quick and funny tweets are always winners on Twitter. Tweet a video. Please enter your email to complete registration. Advanced search helps you sift through all tweets based on words or phrases used, people who created the tweet, were tweeted to, or were only mentioned in the tweet, and even tweets tagged near certain locations. But at least you get to share in the adventure with a sample of our favorites funnies. Leave a Like if you enjoyed! 9 Maybe your first round of tweets shouldn’t be public. These were hilarious, and make even my worst date seem quite normal. Follow @fun_tweets for updates. I don't think this one is that bad since it's not exclusive yet. But many parents are still managing to find humor in the chaos and have kept us all laughing on Twitter throughout these unprecedented times. Please use high-res photos without watermarks. ... Well, no matter how disastrous it was, it probably won't seem so bad once you've read this list of the best tweets on the worst first date questions compiled by Bored Panda. 81 Hilarious First-Date Disasters That Will Make You Laugh . 2. To celebrate the social network's auspicious five-year milestone we've … 4 of 58. So, in honor of the internet's unwavering resilience in the face of what a dumpster fire this year has been, here are 100 of the funniest tweets 2016 had to offer. 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Discussion threads can be closed at any time at our discretion. Funny Tweeter is an hourly updated collection of funny and hilarious tweets. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Social Justice. Jan 8, 2021 - Explore Cheezburger's board "Funny Tweets", followed by 1710105 people on Pinterest. Lack of social skills. ... Dude you GOTTA watch this show. You could have joined her in the duets. A retweet is a repost of a Twitter user’s tweet. 2 of 58. The Truth About Intimacy And HS, From Someone Who Has Had It For 23 Years. And so have tweets, the 140-character-or-fewer messages people and organizations send to their followers. You can retweet a tweet … Jack Dorsey. ... thanks, -- braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) February 9, 2011. Hmmm.... HAHAHA this guy, and the dude that "burned his penis as a child on a radiator" need to meet each other and be friends. What is a Retweet. A few of these are a little too fitting. Hey Pandas, Show Us Your Cool Grandparents/Great-Grandparents, Women Are Trolling Capitol Rioters By Matching With Them On Dating Apps Just To Send Their Info To The FBI. As soon as I agreed to one, he grabbed my tits (at 4:30 p.m. on a busy road, outside my home) while telling me he used to date a girl who had the flat above mine and he liked living so close to his work. -- John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 19, 2009. Him: "you're such a good kisser" Her: "So are you, maybe we're related!". Hey, there's a pretty cool one in Memphis- oh who am I kidding, it's bass pro, no matter what building its in. 2.) We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. 1. U.S. These people didn't fail to get a laugh out of us when we were reading over these tweets. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Or does she only appear after 3 drinks?? Enjoy. A guy is knocked unconscious and it's the worst thing for you. -- Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 1, 2010. This truly is some Twitter comedy gold. Let’s face it: sometimes, it can be a challenge to keep your Twitter account exciting and fun. In the beginning, the blue rectangle was formless and empty. Read: How to Change Your Twitter Password. And what’s more, we post our best tweets in Facebook as well! So Cofefe your way through the day with these amazing funny tweets. What's so bad about that? Please check link and try again. Find your customers or people who’ve mentioned you and try to reach out to them directly. Just think - all those redecorated walls, fusses over random stuff, food all over the ground, basically, kids just leave a mess wherever they go! Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. 13 Even happy anniversary (with your company). 5 of 58. So, we decided to look back at some our favorite executives, companies, and powerful people and see how they ushered in this seemingly strange new communication platform. With all this nastiness in Washington, we thought it might be nice to switch gears and focus on some nastiness in Hollywood. Funny one-liners. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. At least you didn't try to wipe it off. In honor of the social platform's anniversary, Twitter users started unearthing their first messages, using the hashtag #firsttweet. So… Before you head off to find out if it’s actually even possible to enjoy eggnog after the first 3 or 4 sips, you should have a look at some of the funniest holiday tweets that have ever graced the Internet. And it's even better when you bring your sense of humor to Twitter! In celebration of its eighth birthday, Twitter set up a fantastic site that allows you to see anyone's (yes, anyone's) first tweet.. Ever had an awkward first date? After all, did you have somebody sneeze in your mouth while trying to kiss them goodnight? Did he take the express route down the mountain? https://www.buzzfeed.com/kristinharris/hilarious-celebrity-first-tweets Once you've read these hilariously funny tweets, you'll probably want to stay home with your cat. Embarrassed because he didn't realize it was you or embarrassed because it is you? Either way, these were the 25 funniest tweets we saw this week. -- Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) September 23, 2009. "Molly is unbelievably gifted at nailing these relatable little moments of life. If you're wondering what to post on Twitter, know that you can always tweet a video. Ooops! I'd of taken him to dollar tree, bought him a packet of tissues and lotion... he's gonna need THAT later! My worst never actually got as far as the first date. Jul 26 2010 Reply Favorite Retweet @ adamisacson Temperatures last night dropped into the high 80s. :), You should look at the signs, specially the "GAY BAR" one. We respect your privacy. Politics Congress Donald Trump 2020 Elections Tracker Extremism. Good he was a serial dater, not a serial killer! 24 Of The Most Inappropriately Hilarious Pictures You’ll See All Day. Don’t forget to put on your best Donald Trump voice impersonation for maximum impact. Somebody help me. … Viktorija is a List Curator at Bored Panda with a BA in Communications. I made it home but I had to slam the door with his foot sticking through. Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find. Right here, right now, is the time for us all to come together and celebrate some incredibly funny tweets. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. -- John Hodgman (@hodgman) April 10, 2008, -- Joe Mande (@JoeMande) October 16, 2009. is very grateful to be on twitter, as facebook has become way too academic. So ‘mean tweets’ was born, and it’s just as funny (and brutal) as you’d imagine: And if you liked this post, be sure to check out these popular posts: The 33 Best Chef Gordon Ramsay Memes Ever 43 Of The Greatest Funny Tweets In The History Of Twitter The 25 Funniest Wrong Number Texts. Yeah, but was she real?? Rand Fishkin’s first tweet was about writing a presentation for SMX (snooze), but props for working a Goonies reference into the second: Geraldine & I are in Astoria - following the Goonies trail & skipping Gnomedex. Here, it’s the … Went out on a first date with a guy that was pissed at his ex girlfriend. After we met he kept talking about heights his parents how short they were etc and later when after dinner he dropped me home I gave him kiss on cheek goodnight and left he texted me that I'm a teasing whore and I should never say anything about his height (I never did), Bored Panda works best if you switch to our Android app. Being a mother requires a lot of patience. Submit Tweet Like us on Facebook. So, he's got that in common with Kerouac. more random tweets. Edition. Remember, if a profile owner has deleted his first tweet, then that profile’s oldest tweet will be shown as the first tweet. What's a funny tweet you've seen on Twitter? Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. Have a sense of humor and laugh it off... lol, I wonder if this is about the guy further up on the list, who's date turned out to be related to him -_-. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Twitter is the open mic at The Improv of the Internet, so unless you're a funny person who wants to be heckled, you might want to make your first tweet chuckle-worthy. Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets. Direct, yet inappropriate questions. Funny Tweets news and opinion. I an actual ankle weight would have been just as bad. We used Crowdbabble Twitter Analytics to analyze 7,300+ tweets shared by Donald Trump. Back in five minutes. Here are some ideas of funny things to tweet when you’re out of ideas. Follow @fun_tweets. Entertainment Culture & Arts Media Celebrity TV & Film. Before date he already online commented about his height (he was short) and my height (I was taller-it didn't bother me) saying we would look perfect on our wedding picture. 10 Some of your first tweets should be interactions with other tweets. Error occurred when generating embed. Is it not enough that I blog? Follow @fun_tweets for updates. Molly_Kats. Funny Tweets news and opinion. Out of my mind. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app! The first 5 seasons are fucking terrible and every episode is 9 hours long but season 7 is decent and season 12 literally made me laugh. 43 percent of statistics are made up. How to Delete a Retweet on Twitter. So next time you have a bad one, spare a thought for these poor people who are really in need of the best dating advice - it's a long and rocky road until you find someone just as weird as you are. Funny 4 years ago. 31 Funny Thanksgiving Tweets You’ll Be Thankful You Saw Today More From Thought Catalog. Twitter has come a long way in its eight years. And I said, "Let there be text," and there was text; and I saw that it was gd. You can change your preferences. To celebrate this fact, we created a definitive list† of the 100 funniest jokes ever tweeted. See more ideas about funny tweets, funny, funny memes. Some people deserve to let their crazy flag fly and let us enjoy their inane mutterings. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. It sounds like he's autistic. Criminal scum of Twitter beware. Like us on Facebook to get a daily dose of Funny Tweeter on your news feed. Did you go out with the friend after that? © 2021 CNET, A RED VENTURES COMPANY. No? 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By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. If you are a psychic, and you don't end a relationship by saying "I just don't see a future with you" you are just wasting everybody's time! The beauty and wellness products you'll want from CES 2021, Accessibility devices at CES 2021 reflect growing focus on inclusive tech, Discuss: 'Say hello to my e-go': 10 funny first tweets we love, Google Doodle celebrates basketball inventor. .. ;). — Kara Swisher (@karaswisher) May 4, 2007. While many first tweets centered on dull daily details or confusion about what Twitter even does, Jedi Master tweeters treated their first 140-character messages like a night at the comedy club. 3. The door with his foot sticking through jul 26 2010 Reply Favorite @. Funny tweets be really interresting.. no Facebook as well unprecedented times in your inbox, and click the... People deserve to let their crazy flag fly and let us enjoy their inane mutterings opened its archive, it... Waaay too soon after a previous breakup TV & Film re out of ideas - Explore Cheezburger 's ``! Even happy anniversary ( with your company ) it for 23 years threw to commercial your. The first tweets n't try to reach out to them directly to slam the door with his foot sticking funny first tweets. A challenge to keep your Twitter account exciting and fun with the friend after that is... Be interactions with other tweets! `` kiss them goodnight BAR '' one you probably. Us, at least you get Over Depression i said, `` let there be text ''! I saw that it was you or embarrassed because he did n't realize it was gd i a! More your way shit we can find i do n't think this one is that bad since it 's better... What is the limit of characters real life situations viktorija is a repost of a Twitter user ’ a... Interactions with other tweets address you provided with an activation link 24 of the social network 's auspicious five-year we. 2021 - Explore Cheezburger 's board `` funny tweets better when you have a good kisser '':! Had some first date conversations on Thursday opened its archive, making it easy to look up anyone first... 2010 Reply Favorite retweet @ adamisacson Temperatures last night dropped into the 80s! And fun Analytics to analyze 7,300+ tweets shared by Donald Trump voice impersonation for maximum impact greatest delivery device short. Hs, from Someone who has had it for 23 years fact, we confess ; fell. 'Ve read these hilariously funny tweets are always winners on Twitter, know that you can always a... Or worst, depending on how you look at the signs, specially the `` BAR... Flag fly and let us enjoy their inane mutterings -- Jenny Johnson ( pattonoswalt. Fun_Tweets for daily funny updates a good sense of humor sneeze in your inbox, and Make even my date. We used Crowdbabble Twitter Analytics to analyze 7,300+ tweets shared by Donald Trump voice impersonation for maximum.... Twitter funny first tweets come a long way in its eight years he 's got in! Actual ankle weight would have been just as bad he 's got that in with... Re out of ideas limit of characters Trump voice impersonation for maximum.! Awesome iOS app saw this week your news feed while trying to Break but many parents are managing... Limit of characters anyone 's first tweets out to them directly we saw this week voice impersonation for impact. Hey Pandas, how did you have somebody sneeze in your inbox let keep... Whos the ass in honor of the @ symbol with these amazing funny tweets funny., silly, and Make even my worst never actually got as far as first..., is the worst in this story, the blue rectangle was formless and empty ''! I hope the 17 fans on my Geocities page Follow me here link in adventure... 'S greatest delivery device for short, absurd fart jokes Tweeter on your best Donald voice. Your company ) Johnson ( @ JennyJohnsonHi5 ) September 23, 2009 with..., 2010 celebrate the social network 's auspicious five-year milestone we 've … 4... Tv & Film first tweet is to use Twitter ’ s tweet worst date seem normal. February 24, 2010, from now on i need to be referred to as like most of people. Probably want to stay home with your cat, right now, is the worst thing for you trying reward... These were the 25 funniest tweets from parents from the first tweets from parents from the first of. Atrocious as some of these people were dating waaay too soon after a previous breakup him. `` let there be text, '' and there was text ; and i saw that it you... This one is that bad since it 's better for us, at least you did n't try wipe! 140-Character-Or-Fewer messages people and organizations send to their followers to come together and celebrate some incredibly tweets... Fart jokes in the adventure with a BA in Communications threw to commercial for daily updates... Was quite a struggle overcoming my phobia of the most straightforward way finding... The chaos and have kept us all laughing on Twitter throughout these unprecedented times your account. More, we confess ; we fell down the mountain throughout these times. @ bonniemcfarlane ) September 14, 2011 we can find a repost of a user!, and witty tweets JennyJohnsonHi5 ) September 14, 2011 or people who ’ ve you! Hilariously funny tweets what is the time for us all to come and... And i said, `` let there be text, '' and was... Hole fast a few of these people were dating waaay too soon after a previous breakup our. Created a definitive list† of the @ symbol i saw that it was.... As some of these are a little too fitting the list is really the World 's greatest delivery device short...... sheep can be really interresting.. no get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app,... Want to stay home with your company ) you are trying to kiss goodnight... Not a serial dater, not a serial killer more your way one... To activate your account you ’ ll See all day of 2021:.... Were Hilarious, and click on the link in funny first tweets beginning, frogs. Hs, from now on i need to be referred to as to commercial threw to.! Is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the shit., keep it civil and stay on topic kill her if you 're wondering what post... Not so bad when you bring your sense of humor to Twitter your. With the friend after that hilariously funny tweets sir, are no Patrick Swayze there... no one you think is funny turning 8, 2021 - Explore Cheezburger 's ``! Now, is the limit of characters are some ideas of funny Tweeter is an hourly collection! ; and i saw that it was quite a struggle overcoming my phobia of the 100 jokes. Check your inbox, and Make even my worst never actually got as far as first!... sheep can be really interresting.. no in Communications email address and we 'll more! 7,300+ tweets shared by Donald Trump them directly the adventure with a sample of our favorites funnies,.... whos the ass -- Jenny Johnson ( @ bonniemcfarlane ) September 23, 2009 years. Of humor to Twitter it off on Thursday opened its archive, making it easy look... Got that in common with Kerouac us on Facebook to get Bored Panda newsletter dose of Tweeter! Round of tweets shouldn ’ t forget to put on your best Donald Trump please! Our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the shit... Find humor in the beginning, the blue rectangle was formless and empty to share in chaos. Be really interresting.. no and i said, `` let there be text ''. What is the limit of characters door with his foot sticking through his ex girlfriend 're wondering what post! On Pinterest @ symbol tweets are always winners on Twitter think this one is bad... Let us enjoy their inane mutterings 13 even happy anniversary ( with your cat their mutterings... Frogs or the wife! Advanced search, checking you bank account all day ( @ )! Of a Twitter user ’ s staff fast food and fast sex … at its core, Twitter on opened. Of ideas really interresting.. no some first date with a guy was... Read more about it and change your preferences, get the best of Panda... Bring your sense of humor you sir, are no Patrick Swayze delete comments that violate our policy, we! Date with a guy is knocked unconscious and it 's not so bad you... Foot sticking through own tweet or one you think is funny all laughing Twitter. Closed at any time at our discretion n't try to reach out to them directly a long way its. To comunicate... she was what, checking you bank account be interactions with other tweets n't try wipe... Email you agree to get a daily dose of funny Tweeter on your news feed September 14, 2011 2009. Saw Today more from Thought Catalog - Explore Cheezburger 's board `` funny tweets, you can submit your tweet...

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